Why I Cant Quit

When I started playing golf I fell in love with the game. I started when i was around 9 playing with my dad and grandad and my uncle. I would have one club usually a 6 iron and use my dads putter but spent most of my time looking for golf balls. When I started secondary school that's when I new golf was what I wanted to do in life. My handicap soon moved down from 19 when I was 10 to +3 when I was 24. I never had a pro swing but I felt I had talent and loved the game so much, I would go to bed every night thinking about how I could improve my game. I would be at home watching videos and trying to copy their swings (Freddie Couples). When I moved to the states to caddie I improved as a player so much playing with so many great players that helped me along the way. I then returned home thinking I would set the golfing world a light. I joined Edenmore a great club in Northern Ireland. I got a scratch handicap and started playing and pretty much won almost every gross  at the club that season and was club champ shooting in the 60s with my eyes closed. I then  had friends that said they would help me fund my pro career if I decided to go for it and I did. I tried out for the q-school for the europro tour. I made it past the first section but played so bad in the  last section. When I played I never felt myself I was always looking at other golfers and thinking what a better swing they had and that they were laughing at me and I never really got into it. I then decided to play on the Jamega Tour and could not wait. But as usual in practise rounds I was shooting low 60s first time seeing the course but when it came to the first day I could not relax and put more pressure on myself and could not get into my swing. I new  I had the game but my swing in my head always dragged me back down, even when there are swings on Tour that are not text book but they work. It was until now I new I could not stop it was what I wanted to do when I first picked up a club and I could not stop. I went and played the K-Club and shot 72 round the Smurfit and 70 round the Palmer with a 20 year old set of clubs and having not hit a ball in about 6 weeks. I came home feeling so good for the first time in about a year after hearing people tell me to go back down but my mum and dad were the people who always stuck by me and that's when I realised that I was doing this for me and no one else I  had to stop thinking about everyone else when I played and about money and just hit the ball,it has took me a long time to figure this out but there is no age limit on golf, I'm 31 years old and the golfing world is there for my taking and its down to me.